Stuck in My Head
One day of rain And everything had changed Not wanting to complain But seeing nothing was the same I turned to a new page Through milk bottle bottom lenses No longer sure of what I saw I'd misunderstood what was intended knocked to the ground By the ungrateful crowd Who'd booed without a sound I'll count my blessings Say I've learned new lessons Wait for the next rays of human kindness To cure my temporary blindness
Unsaid unsung unseen
Such hidden fears play out in the deepest hour of my sleep
On the mind’s eye cinema screen
To leave a lasting daylight question mark
When daylight finally might
Deign to compete with this phone so artificially bright
In my hands a fountain of other scenes to distract from what has not been
Waking in the early hours slowly emerging from a cloying nightmare
Leaving a snail trail of still real-seeming storyline
The phones’ dimmed but still too bright light guides me back
A beacon of real preoccupation to distract
From the lurking fears brought to life in cinematic deep sleep
To the real yet unreal lives of other people
From the half strangers still posting on my feeds
To the real strangers’ Times’ reported deeds
Stories to distract from the dread acted out at night inside my head.
So much of what I can’t control is what is what makes me anguish or what makes me whole what steals away serenity what ties me down what makes me free what makes me feel I cannot cope what feeds my fear what gives me hope what makes some memories live on what makes me angry what makes me strong what makes me lie awake at night what makes me wrong what makes me right what makes me know I can believe what makes me stay what makes me leave what gives me reason to be proud what makes me go quiet what makes me get loud I can’t control each tiny part of life’s enormous work of art. Far better then learn to adapt. You can control how you react.
Muscat sec and a heart to heart The hazy days of chardonnay lunches Bright sunlight filtered by branches Or hidden by sheltering parasol parts Kids doing kids stuff Comes back to me in flashes Snap shots Clinking cutlery hot to the touch Cutting their food up So much to say between courses Between getting them to eat greens Red noses, forgotten the sun cream We share out the ice cubes Maybe finish their food Waiting for the waiter Maybe some flirtation Or a little impatience Laughter Ice cream for afters Pack up backpacks And onto the scorching path Then backtrack Forgot the sunglasses. Now a late sweaty rush Back to the classroom hush With sticky fingered goodbyes And see you later cries.
You arrive.
Dark clouds disappear.
You laugh.
Music to my ears.
A clatter.
Up stairs two by two.
You chatter.
Nothing else matters.
I wish my arms
Were long enough
To keep you encircled
I’m my embrace
Like mister tickle
I wish I could move
With you from place
To place
With that bracelet
From Blake’s seven
I wish my brain
Had a special GPS
To warn you of any obstacle
Like those CIA drones
I wish I could Uber eat
Chicken soup and
Chocolate milk to you
Whenever you are hungry.
But I’m just a Mummy.
You have fallen from grace in my eyes I ask,was It all just lies? Other words have reached me, And cast doubt on yours you see Thinking back I knew from the start You are an illusionist But what you missed Was the magic of a full heart Mine skipped a beat And when I looked up again The illusion was incomplete
I’m asleep with my eyes open
dreaming of you.
On my mind
Your face
A nostalgic tattoo
An indelible trace
By the time you wake up I’ll be gone
Only a spark
Just the start
But you let it get dark
You carry such grace
And that look on your face
The musical laugh
The sound of your voice as you pass
By the time you wake up I’ll be gone
But the dream wears on
In his posh pullover Uncle Pete, was as ever, neat. He always had a tale to tell Wearing that big grin, as well There with a huge bear hug Standing on the hallway rug A starchy shirt a smart new tie With outstretched arms and sparkling eyes. Caring about our every progress Celebrating in any small success Three generations of us Lived within his generous love He shared in times of joy for me And in the sadder times you see He never turned away. With a strength that never swayed.
I don't want roses, Or any other posies, I just want you. I don't want tulips, Just your two lips, On my two. I don't want daisies, Just you, all amazing, Six foot of you. No, I don't want any flowers, But lots more stolen hours, Just me and you.
